11/23/11

Kind of hooked on the Fragrant Heart meditations. I did another: Meditation to Clear and Balance Your Chakras. I am not sure I feel any more balanced, but they really do bring deep relaxation. And my goodness! My dreams are starting to scare me! I dreamed last night that a strange dog had gotten into my flat and was licking my hand, I could feel it, hear it, I could feel the warmth of the dog's ribcage, it seemed so real that I could only tell it was a dream when I woke from it. Not entirely sure what to make of it.

11/22/11

Rosebud of the Heart Meditation was sweet. Very gentle. Perfect for a really stressful and emotional day.

I listened to Lessons 4 and 5 from Burt Goldman and neither was that meaningful, however, the companion booklets were really nice and I highly recommend that anyone interested in the Law of Attraction or using the mind to manifest changes in one's life sign up for the 7 free lessons.

11/21/11

My dreams are so vivid.
Amazing, populated by faces I have never known and places I have never been.
That is definitely a result of all the meditation.

I did another Fragrant Heart meditation last night called Meeting Your Guardian Angel, I missed out on the meeting though, because the relaxation at the beginning was so effective I didn't even make it up the steps. I feel right asleep.

Will try again tonight.

11/17-20/11

I have been doing various meditations that I have read about, rather than from pre-recorded audio.

The Metta meditation is one I am doing daily.
I also tried a chakra balancing meditation which required that one visualize a series of spinning wheels corresponding to the colours of the chakras. This exercise began at the root and finished at the crown.

Since I have been meditating daily, I have seen hawks everywhere and had several strange instances of just knowing things that I had no way of knowing. I feel strongly that this is simply a result of slowong down and observing more. Perhaps better processing of the information available allows clearer insights. I have also had headaches, feelings of pressure at the crown of my head. I do not typically get headaches, so this seems noteworthy. I was giving Reiki Saturday evening and the pressure at my crown was so great, it felt as if I was being attuned again.

11/16/11

I did the Bringing About What You Desire Meditation on Fragrant Heart. Lovely. Almost brought me to tears!

Not a lot of coincidence to speak of.

11/15/11

Lots of odd little synchronicities seem to come up each day, for instance: I was walking up a store at lunch and thought about a friend's antique bells how lovely they were, how I admired them, as then just as I walked in, there was a woman trying out different bells. Or, I was getting ready for work and I wondered to myself what time is it? and then answered myself 6:20, just before checking my phone to find it was indeed 6:20. I have also guessed the time my coworker (whose arrival time fluctuates) will arrive, to the minute two days in a row, oddly, it was the same time both days.

It seems like it is all a function of slowing down and just taking more in than you put out. Themes seem to emerge each day, or every few days. The same idea will come up with abnormal frequency. Of course I am paying such close attention and expecting to find meaning everywhere, so that accounts for part of it, but I also know that there is a lot more going on than we are aware of. While out walking this evening, I thought that no one really cares about secrets anymore. You can find out about things that people in centuries past would have been killed for knowing in a few minutes on the internet and no one cares. We are living in such an odd time where we have everything and value almost nothing. Slowing down has made so many things seem more precious and important.

I started branching out and looking at sites I have never heard of for guided meditations and found THIS one. Being an insane lover of all things fragrant, it seemed a perfect fit, and I could hardly decide which one to do. (For those of you reading who have not had a lot of meditation experience, The Tree would be a great one to try! It exists in myriad variations, which are all essentially the same and is beautiful!) I finally decided upon the Awareness Meditation. Wow. The fastest 12 minutes of my life... She is wonderful. I decided to do another, the Linking with Cosmic Light meditation. A difficult but energizing meditation. I cannot wait to do more of her meditations!

11/14/11

Another meditation from the same site. This time I did the one about opening to your true identity. I find that they get a little repetitive near the end. The feeling of deep relaxation and total inspiration are wonderful though.

*After this meditation, I decided to do one that I have read about a couple of times: in the book Teachings on Love by Thich Nhat Hanh (so beautiful I have read it three times already) and The Heart of the Revolution by Noah Levine. It is a Metta or loving-kindness meditation in which you send love and wishes for happiness, ease, and general goodness to several people. You begin with yourself, then someone you are very fond of like a family member or good friend, then to a neutral person or someone you don't know, finally you send these loving thoughts to someone difficult or someone you dislike. After you do each of these for a period of time you try to send loving-kindness to all of them at the same time equally, then to the whole world. The goal is for you to practice feeling this loving-kindness toward all beings that you encounter. Eventually, if one practices this often, it should transform the way they see others in the world. You can look it up and find various versions online if you are interested.

11/13/11

A busy weekend, with lots of rapidly changing plans involving children, which means, I was unable to meditate. Still, I had a really amazing experience which I am sure was a direct result of this practice and the new level of awareness I have of my emotions. I was rapidly able to change a situation that would ordinarily have made me an emotional wreck into one in which I was completely in control of my emotions and able to radiate love rather than react with anger. Not bad for only half a month.

Love really is the most powerful force. And intention is amazing fuel.

Sunday night I did a meditation, I stumbled across THIS site in the sidebar on facebook, and by signing up for her weekly inspiration, you also get a free e-book about procrastination. In the book, there was a link to a free meditation by author Sanaya Roman, interestingly, I just picked up a book by her at a used book store a few months ago and found lots of it really inspiring. The meditation was lovely, all about embracing the next step in your spiritual evolution. Deeply relaxing.

11/10/11

No meditation last night, the full moon had me feeling like electricity was running though my body.

11/9/11

The thing I notice most about this practice is that my dreams are super vivid and populated with such strange faces and stories, not snippets from my own life or reconstructed versions of past homes or forgotten faces, but new and unknown places and individuals. Very intense emotional dramas within dreams.

I decided to do a Burt Goldman meditation. To get these, you will have to sign up for seven free lessons. But they are cool. Last night I did the 3rd lesson. It was something between hypnotism and meditation. It consisted of creating an imaginary magnet-hat which can be activated to pull things you desire toward you. Interesting. Took a lot of focus.

11/8/11

Not a lot to say, it was an really busy day full of things that ordinarily would have brought stress and irritation, but I found that with a few breaths, I was able to transform any tense feelings and return to a state of calm...that in itself is evidence that daily meditation practice is beneficial. Another thing I have found to be true is that, overall, I am much more peaceful. The simple act of paying attention may be the key. I will continue to explore this throughout the month.

Began the day with THIS meditation because I knew it was going to be intense. Spent time visualizing the things I would like to see change in my daily life.

Life seems more beautiful than usual today and I am very thankful for everything.

11/6 & 7/11

A murmuration is the word used for a flock of starlings or the act of murmuring. As starlings have recently become a more prominent fixture in these parts, filling the tree outside my office window every morning I am pondering why the word murmuration has been coming up on an almost-daily basis. Last week, I heard a composer on a classical radio show describing her symphony as flowing with such precision, it made her think of youtube videos of murmurations of starlings flying amazingly quickly and close to one another, yet, with seemingly choreographed grace, just missing one another with each swoop and pass. The following day, the On Being blog posted the most stunning video of a murmuration (Friday's post called Waves of Murmuration). I began watching these videos and found myself utterly enchanted. I mean, watching the shapes and patterns, one cannot help but feel the thrill and excitement deep in the chest- you must laugh out loud because it is simply awesome! There is something so breathtaking about the movements all happening so quickly being directed by forces we cannot really understand. Even if we do comprehend the how, we do not have a clue as to the why.

The meditation I did last night was spectacular.
Perhaps because I spent Sunday mostly alone in a deeply contemplative state save for some lawn raking with my neighbor, her mother and son and an outstanding Reiki session that probably left me as relaxed as the receiver. I can say with certainty that daily meditation has calmed me and quieted my mind. I also found that while giving Reiki, I did not have to think about how long I was in each position, I simply knew when it was time to move on. I had complete confidence in my intuition. I was able to focus on drawing the power symbol over and over in my mind throughout the session which proved to be very beneficial for the recipient, as well. The most noteworthy part of THIS meditation, was that it left the EXACT sensations in my body that it was meant to leave. When Davidji said that my crown would tingle, it did, in fact, tingle. It also left me feeling calm and magnanimous all night and throughout the following day.

Since the start of this project, I have been also more in tune with my totem animal, the hawk, than ever before. I have seen more hawks in the last week than I have seen all summer and they always come just when there is a question in my mind that requires an answer.

11/5/11

I watched the first episode of the series: How the Universe Works on Netflix. Amazing! The first episode was about the Big Bang and the idea that, contrary to what most of us can conceptualize, something appears to have generated from nothing. Theoretical physics is about the most exciting thing I can imagine, it gives scientific explanation to so many of the difficult things that have been practiced and understood by religious and spiritual people throughout history. Anyway, the most synchronisitc element was that they kept repeating that Einstein's most well known formula, the one everyone recognizes immediately: E = mc2, essentially says, energy becomes matter. Lovely! Demonstrating that fact in a specific context is pretty much the point of this "experiment". I have read many books that have suggested that when you are properly aligned with your destiny, the Universe will send clues that show you that you are on the right track. This is just the sort of thing they meant. Evidence that what you are trying to do IS possible.

The meditation I chose was called Third Chakra Guided Meditation and I chose it because the third chakra or sacral chakra (which is located at the solar plexus) corresponds to one's personal power, will and how one presents themselves in the world. It is also associated with gut reactions to things and therefore intuition. The meditation suggests that by activating this chakra, one stokes inner fire that will in turn, provide fuel for our endeavors and achievement. I highly recommend this meditation, it really did fill me with fire and inspiration! The meditation IS E=mc2- turning energy into matter!

(the Chopra Center's other free guided meditations are HERE)

11/4/11

Yesterday was a very dreary day and I had very little energy by the time I got home from work. I decided that I would forego my afternoon walk. I had experienced no significant synchronicity during the day. I attribute this to the fact that at work, things have not been great. There is a lull and everyone is on edge about losing their jobs: tension which is amplified by the fact that there is not a lot to do to creates an overall negative energy. At home, I made some miso and settled in, immediately my phone started ringing. Since I have started this project, several friends have said they can feel the positive energy radiating and suddenly I am giving pep talks to various people throughout the day. It seems the more you talk about being inspired, the more inspired you feel. The energy is building and I can hardly imagine how expanded I am going to feel by month's end. I mean, this is only the 4th day!


The evening's meditation on LOVE was not really one that spoke to me, but for anyone with who might have issues with self-worth or self-acceptance, it could be beneficial. This is the first time I have done a meditation guided by a woman and I found it almost instantly, VERY deeply relaxing, so for those who seek deep calm, this one is terrific.

After I finished, I decided to try the previous night's experiment again, only, inspired by Chrissie's comment, I wanted wait a little longer and see if the feelings spread through my entire body. Again I said things that were true and emotionally charged and the same feelings filled my chest, however, I found that if I let the feeling fill me, my whole body just seemed warm, calm and normal. When saying negative things the feeling stayed in my chest and felt like a compression. After these, I said a few things not knowing if they were true of false and observed the sensations. I cannot wait to see whether my body knows things that my mind has no access to.

11/3/11

The synchronicities have continued. Small things, insignificant things that I hope (and expect) will give way to more profound. For instance, I was listening to CBC Radio in the car and they were talking about the best Canadian music of the 80s- they played a sample of a Rush song, just 30 seconds or so and at that exact moment I was driving behind someone with Florida plates that had the city name Lee on it (if you are not a big nerd like me, this is noteworthy because Geddy Lee is the lead singer).

I also went to my father's house and he had rented Green Lantern. I was not enthusiastic about seeing it because frankly, I could live the rest of my life without ever having to see a Ryan Reynolds act, however comic book movies and conspiracy theories are the things my dad and I bond over so I decided to suck it up and watch. I am very aware that the message is not why people typically choose these kinds of films, but my mind just naturally seeks higher truth and tends to find what it seeks in the most unexpected places, this was no exception. The Green Lantern's power is that of changing thought into matter. The hero must learn to master the art of focus and visualize what he wants to create in the material realm. Perfectly aligned with what I am trying to figure out.

I returned home and had several things to do before my meditation. I decided not to listen to a pre-recorded guided meditation, but rather do some deep breathing and try something Ingerman describes in her book. She suggests that one try saying various statements that are true and others that are not true to see how the body feels in each instance. I said several true things, for instance about loving people in my family, and my pets and noticed that my heart kind of had a tingly sensation. Then I began to say things that were not true for me. For example, that eating meat was the right thing to do or that people in the world deserve to suffer. Interestingly, when I said these things, it felt as if my heart was being compressed, like someone was standing on my chest. It made me think a lot about how the body tried to tell us things in very subtle ways and we are often moving at too fast a pace to recognize these subtle voices.

After this exercise, I decided to cut the energy cord that has connected me to a person in my life who has recently become toxic. If you have never heard of doing this, I highly recommend doing some research on it. It is, like many other forms of energy work, powered primarily by intention. HERE and HERE are a couple of websites that discuss the purpose and process. It was a very intense experience after which I drifted peacefully to sleep.

This morning I woke to the following in an email from the Universe:

"Whatever you want, Natalie, dwell upon the end result and move. I'll connect the dots."

If you don't already get them, you too can get inspiring daily emails from the Universe HERE.

11/2/11

“What you resist persists.” – Carl Jung

“Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist persists.” – Eckhart Tolle


This experiment is already shaping up to be much more than what I initially intended. For starters, I have begun each day by making a list of several things for which I am grateful. I have read in various places over the last several years that this practice gets the mind focused on positive emotions and sets the stage for attracting more good things. Honestly, I can feel the shift in my focus and immediately after making a list of the good things in my life. Try it! Also, I am spending a lot of my time being mindful. Noticing my surroundings. Appreciating the tools in my daily life. Finally, I have been reading a really inspiring book called How to Heal Toxic Thoughts by Sandra Ingerman which provides a lot of tools for being more aware of emotional reactions to things in daily life and makes suggestions for transmuting negative energy into positive. I will discuss this more in future entries.

Just shifting my focus for one day, I started to experience stronger intuitive impulses and strange synchronicity, not to mention the most vivid dream I have had in months. I will not describe all of these, but the odd synchronistic alignment bears mentioning because it is just the kind of silly but affirming thing that happens often when one is really connected to the flow of life.

Synchronicity: At work in the afternoon, I suddenly began thinking of Michael Ondaatje, I have only ever read one of his books: In the Skin of a Lion, but that was years ago. I cannot say what made him come into my mind. A couple of hours later, I was home from work unpacking my bag. I had gone to the grocery store at lunch and purchased two different kinds of tea in which cinnamon was the most pronounced ingredient. Since it has begun getting cooler, I have consumed an abnormal amount of cinnamon tea and I started wondering if my skin was going to start smelling like cinnamon. A few minutes later I went for a long walk. As my walk was coming to an end I though I would stop at a cafe in town and get some coffee. I have never done so, and I walk every day. I decided to go to Aj's, a super grimy little coffee shop that I have only ever gone to once before because I don't really like it. When I walked in, I was drawn to a bookshelf but thought I'd revisit it after ordering coffee. I tried to order but the kid at the counter was busy talking on the phone so I walked back to the bookshelf to wait for him to finish his transaction. Sitting apart from the rest of the books, most noticeable of all the books on the shelf was a book of poetry by Michael Ondaatje called the Cinnamon Peeler. I ended up reading a few poems and leaving the shop without having any coffee since I felt pretty certain that the synchronicity was what I had visited the place for. This brings up many different thoughts: first, is time linear or is it an interconnected web? Next, are we prompted all the time with information that would lead us to similar synchronistic evens if only we'd pay attention? Finally, what does it mean? All month I am going to do my best to consider these questions and other like them.

So finally, the actual meditation: A friend had emailed me this guided meditation from the Chopra Center quite some time ago and the email was still in my inbox because I had not had time to try the meditation, so THIS was my first day's meditation. I did not even look to see what it was about before I began, because I have done several of the free meditations that come with the monthly newsletter and knew it would probably be beneficial. In perfect synchronicity, the meditation was about becoming a part of the universal flow and attracting material abundance so that you can, in turn, let that flow through you and share it with others. An especially valuable theme for me because I have spent many years as an artist with monk-like tendencies, I have a deeply ingrained belief that material wealth and integrity don't mix. I am going to work this month to try to make my life a more welcoming, less hostile place for material abundance.

11/1/11

Beginning today, November 1, I will be doing one guided meditation each day with the goal of measuring in a pseudo-scientific manner, the results of daily meditation.

I will attempt to assess, the development (or lack thereof) in my focus, intuition, sense of inner-calm, control over my emotional state, etc. as well as whether or not the things I focus my energy on become more common in my life. As I work with different meditations, this list may change. I will be using meditations that I obtain for free on the internet for the most part. I have several from Burt Goldman and Deepak Chopra , and will add to them as the month goes on. I have several different books that describe meditations, many are variations on the same ones, so, as the month goes on, I will also be working with those and describing them.

Initially, I chose to use guided meditations because I read a passage in Sonia Choquette's book Soul Lessons and Soul Purpose that proposed the idea that humans are not evolving on a spiritual level, quickly enough and the time for mind-clearing meditations has passed. It went on to suggest that we are now at a critical juncture and should be employing our creative power to facilitate the kinds of spiritual changes that society needs. This made prefect sense to me when I read it.

While I love the way that teachers such as Thich Nhat Hanh advocate making anything one does into a meditation by being mindful and I believe there is great value in that kind of practice, this month, I am going to be employing a very specific kind of mental focus. I want to explore the way thoughts affect material circumstances. There have been several books and documentaries on the subject, some explaining the so-called Law of Attraction and others looking to quantum physics to explain the way our thoughts shape reality. It is my intention to see if the correlation between positive, controlled thoughts really can have a positive impact on one's life in as little as a month. Whenever possible I will provide links to the sites I have gotten the meditations on as well as the books I am using when I practice guided meditations that are not pre-recorded.

Everything I have ever read on this subject says the same thing: If you align your thoughts and your focus with actions that all seek to move you toward the changes you wish to see in your life, then the material world will naturally, almost effortlessly match up to what you visualize. I intend to see for myself.